Navigating a relationship without enough emotional support can feel like being caught in a storm without shelter. Constant feelings of isolation, misunderstanding, and loneliness indicate a loss of balance in the emotional aspect of your relationship. Anything from wanting more time alone to feeling like you’re fighting your battles on your own can all be signs of this. Thankfully, it’s not too late to get help because we’ve gathered the top 20 signs that can help you determine whether or not you’re receiving the emotional support you need for a healthy, thriving relationship.
You Hesitate to Share Your Feelings
One of the main tell-tale signs that you’re not in a good emotional space with your partner is when you hesitate to share your feelings. After all, your special someone is the person you should consider your partner through both the ups and downs of life and being unable to discuss how you feel with them is a major red flag. The Center Portland notes, “Sharing your feelings with your partner is what deepens your connection and allows you to achieve greater intimacy.” So, being unable to do so is a massive setback to your progress as a couple.
They’re Dismissive During Tough Conversations
Dismissiveness is not a good trait to have—at home, school, or work. It’s even worse when your partner is dismissive, especially when the issues involve your relationship. Remember that there will always be times when having a difficult conversation is necessary to keep the fire burning in your relationship.
Your Conversations Lack Depth
Small talk is integral to relationship building because it allows us to find common ground and shared interests with others. However, too much small talk can be detrimental to romantic or more intimate relationships. In many ways, it can be perceived as a warning sign that something’s starting to go wrong between a couple. Connolly Counselling Centre adds, “When small talk becomes the central form of communication in an intimate relationship, it can be damaging.”
They Aren’t Happy for Your Successes
Finding your people is one of the most gratifying and fulfilling accomplishments. No matter what happens, you shouldn’t settle for someone who isn’t happy for you and your successes. Your special someone is your life partner, and if they can’t be happy for you during your ups, how can they cheer you on in your downs?
You Feel Lonely and Disconnected Even When You’re Together
Sometimes, people mistake being alone for loneliness. However, it’s an entirely different thing, and the sad truth is that you can feel lonely even when you’re with someone—when you’re in a relationship or even when you’re married. If your partner is leaving you feeling unwanted or misunderstood, then there’s a high chance you feel lonely and disconnected from them. This, too, is another warning sign that there’s a lack of emotional support between a couple.
You Feel Emotionally Drained
Your significant other should be your safe haven—the person you turn to for comfort and support. If you can’t do this and feel emotionally drained when you’re with them, then there’s a lack of emotional support in your relationship. Savanna Swain-Wilson of Business Insider says, “Devoting your energy to a relationship that isn’t meeting your needs can make you feel frustrated and emotionally drained. When you don’t feel supported by your partner, it can be very difficult to communicate and give each other the love you both deserve.”
They Minimize Your Feelings
If you feel as if your emotions, feelings, and even behaviors are being judged, ignored, or rejected, then be on high alert. When this happens, it means your partner is minimizing your feelings and invalidating your emotions. Psych Central explains, “Emotional invalidation is the act of dismissing or rejecting someone’s thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. It says to someone, ‘Your feelings don’t matter. Your feelings are wrong.’”
They Often Let You Down
Humans naturally want to succeed and excel, so they hold themselves to a certain standard. In the same way, people also hold their significant others in high regard and have certain expectations from them. For example, you want to be able to rely and depend on your partner, and you want to be able to lean on them when you need support. However, when a relationship lacks emotional support, you’ll notice that one’s partner has already let the other down countless times—often without valid reasons.
You Prefer to Spend Time Alone Versus Time With Your Partner
Spending time alone can be beneficial in any circumstance. However, it’s a different issue if you prefer to spend time with yourself more than your partner most of the time. Anchor Light Therapy quoted relationship experts and noted that people should spend 70% of their time with their partners and 30% of their time by themselves. If you’re at the point where you’re veering more toward an equal split, maybe it’s time to start reflecting on some things about your relationship.
You Don’t Trust Your Partner
No relationship will last without trust. So, if you don’t trust your partner or if they don’t trust you, there might be something significantly wrong happening in your relationship. This, however, doesn’t happen instantly. The loss of trust in a relationship could be due to a betrayal that occurred in the past, trauma from childhood, or even different attachment styles.
You Are Leading Separate Lives
If you’re in a serious relationship, then you consider your special someone a partner for life. Therefore, though some of your life plans could be different, a good number of goals should align. When you lead a different life from your partner and have totally different goals, one or both people in the relationship will be left unsatisfied, eventually impacting the relationship.
They Make Everything About Them
A relationship is a two-way street; if your partner makes everything about them, they’re just plain selfish. It could also be a sign that your partner has narcissistic tendencies. If so, they just aren’t capable of being emotionally supportive toward you. Narcissists, after all, cannot think about anyone apart from them, making them emotionally distant people.
They Don’t Show Interest in Your Goals
This doesn’t solely pertain to big goals like pursuing education or shifting careers. When your partner doesn’t support you—even in the small stuff like starting a healthy routine or diet—they’re not good partners. Your special someone should be the first person cheering you on, and they should be in the front row cheering the loudest! If not, then you’ll inevitably feel lonely and alone in life.
They Talk Over You
When you’re talking, and you’re interrupted, it can get frustrating. However, when it’s your significant other that does this to you, apart from being frustrating, it can also hurt. This happening again and again is indicative of an unhealthy relationship.
You’re Lacking Physical Intimacy
When a relationship lacks physical intimacy, numerous problems and issues may arise. There could be feelings of neglect, loneliness, and even emotional disconnection. Plekan Law explains, “The effects of lack of physical intimacy in a relationship can lead to a breakdown in communication and create an emotional distance between partners.”
They Disappear When Times Get Tough
When faced with a problem, you may think that the easiest way out is to turn your back on the issue. However, no matter how often you hide from a problem, it will only grow. You’ll only leave your partner to face issues alone, eventually creating a bigger and deeper rift in your relationship.
You Don’t Talk About Your Emotions
Conflict is expected in a relationship. However, no matter how bad things get, you should never hide your feelings from your partner. Verywell Mind notes, “When we don’t adequately express ourselves, our relationships cannot grow in meaningful ways.”
They Don’t Find Little Ways to Help
It’s hard to navigate life without others’ support and help. Sometimes, the only thing you need is a life partner who will stand by you, support you, and help you, no matter what challenge comes. They don’t need to make big efforts to help, as just words of encouragement or covering for you in other aspects of life can help tremendously. If they’re not even willing to offer a little bit of help, then you might need to start rethinking your future with them.
Lack of Reassurance About the Future
No one in this world has an infinite amount of time to live, and so many of us can’t wait forever to find the one we can spend forever with. If your partner can’t even reassure you that you have a future together, then it’s a big red flag.
Your Go-to Person Is a Friend, Not Your Partner
Life is filled with small and big challenges and accomplishments, and your special someone should be able to stand by you through all that. It’s okay to have a support system outside of your relationship; in fact, it’s recommended. However, something might be wrong if you constantly go to others instead of your partner.
